Pull Myself Together

October 2005

Built off a bouncy little stop-and-go rhythm I got stuck in my own head over the summer, which makes it feel like such a happy song. I wish it could be happier, though it sits on the cheerful, well-meaning side of a tough goodbye. I printed out a copy, and then somebody asked to read it in the elevator, and then asked to keep it. So that’s reassuring.

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I want no one, to tell me what to live for
I’ve got no one, there’s nothing I can be
But I need only one, to put it all together
I need only one, to help me to be free

And I’ve no faith, I seek no mighty savior
And I’ve no pride, nor simple vanity
And I’m no fool, I seek no perfect stranger
I am only looking for the one I need

And I need only one, to pull myself together
And I need only one, to love me tenderly
I need only one, only one and nothing better
I need only you, if only you could see

But it’s too late, to put it back together
And it’s too long, too strange to wait and see
So it’s “fare thee well,” and beware of stormy weather
And it’s “fare thee well,” I guess I’d better leave

So I’m going away, a long, long way away
Though I don’t know if I’m going anywhere
And I’m going away, I got to get away today
And I don’t know if I’ll come back anymore

I’m going away, ‘cause there’s no place I can stay
But then again I could be right back here tomorrow
And tomorrow I don’t know, there’s no place I can go
But everything I need I can borrow

So it’s fare thee well, I’m bound for stormy weather
And it’s so long, I’ll find another way
And it’s such a shame, but nothing lasts forever
If you need me I’ll be back again someday

And I need only one, to put it all together
And I need one chance; I guess it’s hard to see
Cause it’s so strange, and it’s neither now nor never
I’m still looking for the only one I need.

Ought to Know Better

June 2005

More of a pop/rock idiom this time. A song for a time of hopeful anticipation and a bit of frustration. Been finished for a while, just never bothered to post it.

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And all the things she has to tell me are the things she doesn’t know,
And all the things she has to give me are the things she doesn’t own,
And the only thing I ask of her is what she doesn’t show
And I really ought to know better, I really ought to know better
But I’m not letting go.

Tell me something,
Tell me I can hang around awhile
Tell me that you want me, that you need me, that you love me
But I don’t really mind if you don’t.

Because I really ought to know better anyway,
But I’m not taking good advice today.

And sometimes I try to listen for the things she doesn’t say
But no matter what she tells me I can wait another day
And there’s no use in explaining for it just gets in the way
And I’m supposed to get over it anyway

Tell me something
Tell me not to give up for a while
Tell me that you want me, that you need me, that you love me
But I don’t really mind if you don’t

Because I really ought to know better anyway
But it’s –
Well, it’s –
Because it’s –
You know it’s something but it’s more than I can say.
And you won’t really mind if I don’t.

To You (Like a River)

July 2005

A “remix”, if you will, of my earlier poem. And yeah, I know the theme has been done. But I came up with the last two stanzas and felt they fit onto “To You”. Another one I actually have a way to sing. Obviously I could sing most of it before, but the new stanzas have a different, though partly similar, melody.

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Like a river to the ocean
Like a salmon to the stream
Like a dying man to water
Like a lobster to the steam

Like a freight train, slowly rolling
Slowly rolling down the line
I’ll come rolling to your doorstep
If you’ve ever got the time

And I’m running out of options
And I’m running out of time
I’ll come running straight to your arms
That is if you don’t mind.

Like an arrow to the target
Like a bolt from the blue
If you’ll answer one more question
I’ll come flying straight to you

I’ve got nothing left to give you
I’ve got nothing left to lose
If you give me one more answer
Then I’ll fall in love with you.

Like a coward out of danger
Like a prisoner going free
Like a hammer needs an anvil
Like a blind man needs to see.

Like a river, slowly flowing
Slowly rolling to the sea
If I ever get close to you
Won’t you please stay close to me?

Like a river, to the all-receiving ocean
Like a sailor, to the all-forgiving sea
Like the rain comes, in one ever-loving motion
Let my heart fly, to wherever you may be.

As the gulls cry, across the all-believing ocean
As the storms roll, up from the all-redeeming sea
Like a river, full of swift torrential motion
Let my love flow, to wherever you may be